I don’t know how to write this story. Maybe it starts with the shaking - my legs and arms flailing uncontrollably, my whole body arching and shaking. The hospital report called the shaking “rhythmic movements,” as though I was dancing to music composed by a madman. It came out of nowhere, the shaking, and rapidly … Continue reading Telling the Story of Disease

Most of us take our bodies for granted. They are the vehicles in which we go about pursuing a meaningful existence. The real stuff of life is what goes on in our minds, we think: the pursuit of ideas or love or compassion or success or some other form of fulfillment. Our bodies exist only … Continue reading The Insistence of the Body

The sky was almost perfectly blue the day my husband and I promised, among other things, that we would always offer each a shoulder to lean on. It was brisk that day, and the last of the autumn leaves were blowing off the trees in the northern reaches of Vermont as we started a new … Continue reading The Intimacy of Illness

My body declared a general strike this morning. As it has many mornings recently, it declared that today would be best spent in bed, in and out of consciousness, not trying to achieve very much. My brain is not communicating well with the left side of my body, making walking and other tasks (including parenting) … Continue reading A Day Without a Woman

If you live in what Susan Sontag famously called the Kingdom of the Sick, you will find yourself waking up one day asking how you arrived in this somewhat dreary place. Many of the roads from away lead to the Forest of Nowhere in Particular, winding aimlessly through the dense growth of a life filled … Continue reading Tough Times in the Kingdom of the Sick

My daughter is an angry sleeper. After waking in her own bed and coming to us for comfort, she fights for stolen teddy bears with tiny fists and feet, offering anguished cries between my husband and I before finally settling back into a restful slumber. But by that point, I am awake, having taken the … Continue reading Adrift